


Jittery

by CookieDoughMe



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Duke and Nathan as friends, Gen, LLF Comment Project, that's it - just friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 21:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15033563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CookieDoughMe/pseuds/CookieDoughMe
Summary: Imagine a permanent end to the Troubles, where no one dies, no one leaves Haven and no one loses their memory.This is a fic in which Nathan and Duke become close and lose the snarking not because they act on the sexual tension, because there is none. I thought it might be an interesting change of pace to write something where they get to a place where they are *just* friends - not frenemies, not friends with benefits, not brothers in arms, just, simply, friends. And then I wondered if such a thing is possible - I'll let you be the judge ;)





	1. Chapter 1

The Troubles had been over for a week when Nathan came into the Gull and took the stool at the end of the bar. It was the middle of the lunchtime rush, and Duke waved to him across the sea of customers. Nathan ordered a soda water from Tracy and sipped, feeling the novelty of the sensation of bubbles on his tongue.

From the other end of the bar, Duke found his eyes flicking towards Nathan every chance they got and it didn't take him long to notice that the Chief of Police was jittery.

Not a the-troubles-are-back kind of jittery (which in any case he would have been telling Duke about, Duke felt sure of that), and not a police-business kind of jittery either. But someone brushed past him and he jumped. He shifted on his stool and winced as he moved his shoulders. His hand grazed a patch of water on the bar and he flinched.

It was when Duke saw him move that he realised. Nathan stood up and stepped into the crowd, movements stiff and awkward and suddenly Duke could see that Nathan was still adjusting to the end of his trouble. Struggling to adjust to it even.

Duke hadn't seen Nathan much for a couple of days; he'd been busy getting the Gull back into shape, Nathan had been busy sorting things out at the station. And, Duke had assumed, celebrating the end of his trouble with Audrey.

But maybe there was more than one way to process the return of physical sensation. Nathan had always been able to feel Audrey’s body after all. Maybe learning to feel his own again was proving more of a challenge than might have been expected.

Duke pondered this in between pouring drinks, and by the time it quietened down enough for him to go talk to Nathan, he had a plan.

First he put his theory to the test, making his way back across the room and coming up behind Nathan to plant a friendly hand on his shoulder from behind. “Hey man.”

Nathan jumped out of his skin at the contact and nearly fell off the stool. “OK,” said Duke. “You are officially jumpy.”

Nathan got himself settled again, and finished the last of his drink. “Having some trouble processing,” he admitted. “And yes, I mean processing, and no, I do not need you to buy me any women.”

Duke held his hands up in surrender as he walked back around behind the bar. “OK, OK. That's not what I was going to suggest in any case. Another?” he asked, gesturing towards Nathan's empty glass.

“Sure,” Nathan nodded. “Thanks. Sorry, I'm just …”

“Jittery,” Duke finished for him. “I see that.”

“So what were you going to suggest?” Nathan asked curiously.

“You might not know this about me Nathan, but I have some experience with massage. Now that I think about it I can see how tense your shoulders are. A massage might help with that, help your muscles get settled, get over all that unfelt tension. But I think you need something for yourself as well; I can show you some yoga if you want. I'm not a teacher, but I can give you some pointers if you want to join me when I practice. Making it part of your routine every day should help to ground you back in your own skin.”

Nathan blinked at him for a moment. “You do yoga _every_ day?”

“Of course,” replied Duke, a little offended. “Not that you would have to. Join me on the Rouge in the morning and we'll see how we go. It's just about warm enough to practice outside now and that always makes it nicer, to feel the morning air as well.”

Nathan took a long sip of his drink, studying Duke, analysing his options. “What time?” he said.


	2. Chapter 2

As Nathan walked up to the Rouge in his sweatpants and a light jacket, he felt more jittery than ever. He was usually eating breakfast at this time and it felt odd to be heading to the Rouge to meet Duke.

But it was daylight, just about, and it was warm enough to be outside, just about, and he was reasonably sure this was a good idea. The massage option he was undecided on, but exercise was always a good thing and apparently the yoga helped Duke, so it had to be worth a go.

As he got nearer to the boat he saw Duke already flowing through some complicated-looking movements. Nathan hesitated, almost ready to change his mind. But then Duke saw him, stopped what he was doing, and waved. 

“Sorry,” Duke called as Nathan stepped on board, “I woke up early, I figured I'd get warmed up,” and he waved him over to the empty yoga mat next to his. “It's OK, don't look so worried. Just take your shoes off for now and we'll start with some breathing.”

Nathan, resisting the urge to point out that he had in fact been breathing pretty successfully for some time, undid his laces as he asked, “Why am I taking off my shoes to breathe?”

Duke didn't answer him directly, saying instead, “The breath is the foundation of yoga; the foundation of everything after all. Every movement we make comes from our breath.”

Nathan did as he was directed and stood at the top of the yoga mat, his feet together. Duke stood on the deck in front of him. “It's very easy,” he began, “particularly when we're stressed and not paying attention, to breath only with our ribs.”

“Isn't that what ribs are for?” asked Nathan.

“The point is not so much what the ribs are doing as what the diaphragm is not doing. This muscle here, at the bottom of the ribs,” Duke clarified in response to Nathan's frown, and drew a line across his own t-shirt along the top of his stomach. “When the diaphragm gets involved, it means air gets pulled right into the bottom of the lungs; it's more efficient.” Duke put his hands along the line he'd drawn, fingers pointing towards each other, and as he breathed in drew the fingers down towards the floor. “See? Using the diaphragm means that the stomach moves as well as the ribs, or instead of the ribs even.”

Nathan watched, trying without success to work out what his own diaphragm was doing at that moment. “Try this,” suggested Duke, moving his hands. “Put one hand flat on your stomach, one flat on your chest and just keep breathing as you always do. Don't try to do anything different, just notice which hand moves most.”

“Top one,” said Nathan after a moment.

“OK, right, see that's what happens. But it's much more calming to breathe with the stomach. So see if you can draw the air down towards your belly button, so that the bottom hand has to move outward to make room.”

Duke followed his own instructions, standing in front of Nathan, breathing long slow breaths in and out, the hand on his stomach moving as the hand on his chest did not. Nathan watched him for a moment, then closed his eyes to better concentrate on his own body. He tried to slow his breathing, but he wasn't getting it - it seemed like too much to think about and it must have showed because he heard Duke step closer to him. “Here,” Duke offered, “if I rest my hands on your ribs, maybe you can feel the movement there better. See if you can breathe deep while my hands stay still.”

Duke’s hands rested lightly on Nathan's sides, just above his waist. Even through the fabric of his jacket, Nathan could feel the heat of Duke’s skin in contrast to the cool morning air. And somehow that helped, that light and simple touch. He focused on it and focused on avoiding it, breathing past Duke’s hands and pulling long breaths in with his stomach.

“That's it, good,” said Duke after a little while. “It feels different, right?”

Nathan nodded, eyes still closed as he concentrated.

“Habits take some time to form, so when you notice that you're breathing with your ribs again, come back to this feeling, and bring your breath back to your stomach, OK?”

Duke stepped away and Nathan opened his eyes. “Yeah ok,” he replied, adding, “Interesting.”

“So, that's the first thing. The second thing is, it's not about what it looks like.” To illustrate his point Duke leant forward, folding his body in two at the waist with his legs straight. “If I fold forward and touch the floor, the point of the pose is not to touch the floor. The point is to stretch my back and my legs, so if someone else gets the same stretch with their hands only at their knees, that's all good. And if they keep practicing, their hands will get closer to the floor over time. Flexibility is a consequence of yoga, not a prerequisite.”

Nathan nodded, “Good, because my hands will not be on the floor.”

“Not yet,” Duke grinned at him. “Third thing is, it shouldn't hurt. Listen to your body OK? Never try and stretch further than your body is ready to go.”

Nathan nodded, realising that ‘listening to his body’ was probably the whole point here.

“OK so let's do some sun salutations; watch me do a couple first so you get the idea, and we'll go slow to start with.”

Duke moved back to his own mat and stood at the top, feet together as he stretched his hands high. Now that Nathan was really watching him move, he noticed the fluid quality his movements had, and how straight he stood; his posture was perfect.

Duke stretched up and down, then stepped his feet back into a push up and moved through some alternative fluid yoga version of one, ending up with his hips low and his head high to stretch his back. As he pushed his hips up and back to stretch his shoulders, Nathan watched, thinking this did not look quite so difficult as it might have. Duke came back to standing where he'd started at the top of the mat, and after another round Nathan joined in.

Duke slowed down a little for him, talking him through every step, and although they didn't move that quickly and it didn't look that hard, still it wasn't long before Nathan had warmed up enough to take off his jacket.

“OK, so if you want to do this at home, a few rounds of sun salutations every day is probably a good place to start,” Duke told him. “Think you'll remember that sequence?”

“Yeah should do.”

“So don't worry about remembering the rest of this yet, but let's add some warrior poses.”

So they did, stepping along the mat to work their legs and core and stretch their sides. Before long Nathan was breathing hard into the morning air, and he was surprised how much of a workout he got.

After a while they slowed down and Duke showed him the kind of poses that were more what he'd been expecting; slow stretches while sitting or lying on the floor.

“OK last pose; savasana. Lie on your back, flop your hands and feet out and close your eyes. Shift your hips so it's comfy and feel the mat beneath you. The point now is to take a moment to feel the difference that what we've done has made. Feel the blood flowing through your body, feel the breath flowing through you. And then relax all of your muscles, let the tension pour out of you; into the mat, into the Rouge, into the sea.”

Nathan smiled, “Is that how you think of it? Let the sea carry your tension away?”

“Sometimes,” Duke agreed. “Just feel your skin and your muscles and let go of any tension you're still holding on to - it’s more difficult than it sounds, I know.”

They lay there for a while, eyes closed, feeling the morning breeze and listening to the water against the side of the boat. It was relaxing, and Nathan had to admit he felt more settled in his skin now than any time he could remember.

As they stood up and put jackets and coats back on, Duke invited Nathan to join him for breakfast. “I can't offer you pancakes, but I do have pasties and some good coffee.”

Nathan had planned to grab something to eat on the way to the station. He glanced at his watch; it wasn't too late. “Thanks,” he said. “Sounds good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Duke is not a yoga teacher and neither am I. While it is possible this contains some pearls of wisdom, please do not rely on it as an authoritative source of information. If you are looking for people who do know what they're talking about, I've found some great classes on [www.yogadownload.com](www.yogadownload.com). (Some of them are even free:)


	3. Chapter 3

Nathan sipped his coffee, still not quite over the novelty of not having to wonder how hot it was. “Thank you Duke, I do feel better.”

“No problem. If one session made a difference, then a daily practice should really help. You're welcome to join me again tomorrow.”

Nathan smiled, “Same time?” he asked.

Duke nodded as he chewed, and Nathan thanked him again. They ate in companionable silence for a moment, and then Nathan was the one to speak first, “And how are you doing Duke? I'm not the only one’s come out of this with scars.”

Duke shrugged, took a sip of coffee. “Some days go better than others I guess. Some nights I sleep better than others.”

Nathan nodded, trying to work out what to say. “I'm not always the best with words, I know, but if you want someone to talk to? Because listening, I can do,” he added, lightening the mood a touch. 

A quick grin flashed across Duke’s face before he frowned. “I'm not sure what there is to say. We're the lucky ones really.”

“Maybe. But that doesn't mean we don't have things to deal with. We saw some crazy stuff; the brain’s got to process that. Might mean nightmares for a while, and that can be difficult.”

“hmm,” Duke voiced a cautious agreement, and didn't challenge the carefully worded implication that he was having nightmares. “When did you get so wise, Nathan Wuornos?” he asked.

Nathan smiled, “Must be all the yoga,” he joked.


	4. Chapter 4

Six weeks later and much to his own surprise, Nathan seemed to have established a fairly consistent yoga practice. He joined Duke on the deck of the Rouge most mornings, bringing fresh pastries from Rosemary’s as his contribution to their shared breakfast afterwards.

The weather was warmer now and it was the touch of the soft breeze on his skin as he moved through the now-familiar sequence of positions that helped to ground him in his skin as much as the poses themselves.

He followed Duke’s movements, and looked up some more online, and Duke's assurances that he might develop more flexibility started to seem slightly less far fetched.

And before long he realised it was the conversation and companionship at breakfast that was helping him too. Sometimes they talked and sometimes they just ate while they took in the view across the harbour.

“It's a nice spot you’ve got here,” Nathan told him one morning. He gestured with the remains of a croissant. “Nice view.”

“I like it in the winter, when the storms get going,” Duke told him. “You can see the lighting for miles.”

“So you're happy here then? Fixed in one place? Or do you miss travelling?”

Duke considered this as he sipped his coffee. “The Rouge is home wherever she is. And sometimes I do miss having breakfast in a different place every day. But, I'm connected to Haven in a way I didn't understand when I was younger, and even if I do leave for a bit of sightseeing at some point, I know it won't be for long. I know I'll always come back here.”

Nathan nodded with a touch of what might have been relief, but he didn't say anything.

“And you?” Duke asked him. “You ever wished you'd spent more time away?”

“Sometimes,” admitted Nathan. “Might make more use of my vacation days now that things are a bit calmer. See a bit more of the country maybe.”

“The country?” Duke asked. “See a bit more of the  _ world _ , Nate.”

“Where was your favourite spot then? Where'd you recommend I go?”

“Well,” said Duke. “That is a question that requires another coffee. You want one?”

Nathan looked at his watch. It was a Saturday and he didn't need to go into the station unless he got a call. He had some errands to run, but they could wait. ‘Sure,” he said.

And so they sat there, watching the waves and the fishing boats and the sun climb slowly higher in the sky as Duke ran through an ever increasing list of his favourite parts of the world.


	5. Chapter 5

“Thanks Duke,” Nathan said with feeling as he rolled up his yoga matt  “I like those new poses.”

“That’s good, because I don't think they would have worked for you when you first started. I'm glad it's helping.”

Nathan nodded and slipped on his shoes. “It is. More than I expected. But look, how are you? Are you still sleeping badly? Because there's a new therapist in town, has some idea of the Troubles, I could give him a call for you if you wanted, get you set up with a weekly appointment. I've had a few sessions with him, and …”

“Really?” asked Duke.

Nathan paused. “... admittedly only because it was both a contractual requirement from Haven PD and Audrey badgered me into it but he's good. He's.... He talked about practical things, constructive strategies, no … ink blots or hypnotism or whatever.”

“hmmm.”

“So are you sleeping?”

“Sometimes.”

“You should go.”

“Let me think about it.”

“Fair enough. I gotta run today but we'll see you for dinner later right?"


	6. Chapter 6

As Audrey walked up to the Rouge the next morning, she heard something; laughter. Someone was laughing at something so hard they were struggling to fit in any room to breathe. As she got closer she saw it was in fact two someones. Duke and Nathan on the deck of the Rouge, facing out to sea and laughing together at something, while continuing to set each other off anew with gestures and snatches of conversation she couldn't make out, in between shaking their heads, wiping their eyes, resting their hands on each other's arms as if to try to quell the tide of mirth, and then promptly collapsing with laughter again.

She had no idea what was amusing them so but it didn't matter; she grinned at the sight, and the sound of their laughter. She looked at her watch; they were due to meet Julia soon, but they could be a little late. She turned around to head back to her car; she would go for a drive around the block or something and leave them to their laughter for a little longer.

**Author's Note:**

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